Dealing with School Pressure: Which School of Thought do you belong to?
As a parent of a school-going 7-year-old in the pressure-cooker environment that is the Singapore education system, as well as a family life educator, I've discovered that there are different schools of thought, when it comes to dealing with school pressure.
'Swim' school
Parents who belong here believe truly that 'Life is tough' and hence, school is the the induction into life. How does the learner deal with pressure? The simple message is 'Hard luck, kiddo. deal with it, because I dealt with it'.
'Live-the-moment' school
If life gives you lemons, parents who belong here are likely to say 'Make lemonade'. They accept that schooling is tough and competitive, but they emphasise to their learners to look beyond the negative and enjoy the ride.
'Cram' school
Given the exam-centric nature of the system, parents over here tell the learners to 'Forget about the Fun, and Focus on the Facts'. Learners are seen to have coped with the pressure by getting extra doses of brain work at tuition centres and other enrichment courses.
'The-road-less-travelled' school
How to cope with pressure? Parents in this school of thought believe that there IS an out-of-the-box way: be it homeschooling, boarding school overseas including the option of emigration. 'Pressure? What, pressure? (..when you have an alternative, that is)'
Simplistic, though, these labels may be, they are useful for helping us see the messages that we transmit, consciously or otherwise, to our children when they face pressure from school. They also bring out the underlying assumptions about pressure and schooling experiences as well as their respective educational outcomes.
Is there one best approach? I doubt it; the effectiveness of any approach will rest greatly on the child, how well his parents understand him and their relationship together.
Noel Tan
(*All text is copyright of Trailblazer Trainers)
posted by Trailblazer Trainers @ 3:58 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
Hi,
I find your blog very interesting. I too have a 7yo somewhat similar as yours. He was once asked "What has 2 wheels, the rider needs a helmet..." The answer is motorcycle. But instead, my dear son wrote "A full throttle". It's not wrong but it's not THE answer.
Term 1 in P1 was a torture for him and me. I almost wanted to send him to see a child counsellor but as Term 2 started, he began to settle in and his form teacher found him to be very knowledgable.
I find that the school system here is only a pressure cooker b'cos parents created it for their kids. Imagine 72/100 is not good enough for a P1 :(. I'm shocked. I have always told my ds that it's not the marks, it's the mistakes made, learning from them and not repeating them. Recently, he came home and told me that his classmate scored 28/30 for their English test and was found sobbing. My dear lovely son went up to him and said, "I have only 26/30 and I'm not crying." ;p Don't you agree that in educating our children, it's not the teachers or the education system, it's really the parents.
Hi there kmom,
Sadly, I have to agree that the pressure to have high grades is unrealistic. Created by parents, and reinforced by schools, this pressure narrows the definition of learning only to testing. What about understanding? What about critical thinking? What about learning from others, when innately in school, our kids learn to be competitive and do not build trusting relationships with their classmates? It really is an obsession.
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